Jean the Philosopher
by batman100
Summary: Socrates, Confucius, Aristotle, and Plato: Four of the best philosophers. Ever wonder what would it be like if Jean Grey of the X-Men was added in the list? Wonder no more


**Jean the Philosopher**

It was a quiet Tuesday morning as Jean opened her window and took a whiff of the fresh air "Ah, a glorious morning! Nothing but the chirping of the birds, the fluttering of the trees, and…"

"Oh GOD! KURT! NOT ON MY NEW DRESS! BLECCCHHH!" Tabitha screamed

"…The daily common flu." Jean finished flatly, putting on her moccasin outfit before heading to Kurt's area

"I swear to God, if these stains don't come off, so help me…" Tabitha ranted angrily, rubbing her scrub brush insanely trying to wipe off the vomit-induced stains on her new vinyl spandex dress

"I said it was an accident! You **knew** those apples were rotten!" Kurt retorted before covering his mouth again

"Oh, **this** is a beautiful thing to see in the morning" Jean replied sarcastically as Kurt retched again, **this** time on Tabitha's new coat

"There! That should bloody well do it!" Tabitha huffed, hanging up her dress "Now where's my new leather coat?"

"I wouldn't ask for that if I were you" Jean warned, a hint of nervousness in her voice

"And why? Don't you think there should at **least** be some things I can ask about?" Tabitha snapped

"Word of advice: **Never** ask questions you want the answer to" Jean warned as Tabitha rolled her eyes

"Yeah, yeah. You got that from Men In Black 3 last night. Thanks for bringing that up; now I got that silly quote stuck in my head!" Tabitha snapped, opening the closet before shrieking at the state of her coat

"I warned you…" Jean teased in a singsong voice, giggling insanely. Tabitha just gave Jean a savage look

"Shut your mouth, Missy" Tabitha hissed in a deadpan expression before taking a deep breath and hollering "KURT! GET OVER HERE!"

"You rang?" Kurt asked, having bamphed in before adding, "And Scorpion's my favorite MK character also"

"How convenient. Enter upset-stomach teleporter on cue." Jean commented

"If I may quote from Socrates: When the student is present, the teacher will appear" Scott piped up, appearing from the window sill with Logan underneath him

"Yeah; yeah. You and your danged philosophies. By the way, what are you standing on?" Logan asked, before realizing that Scott's lower area was convienently over his head

"Uh…Is there something I should explain about?" Scott asked sheepishly as Logan's claws sheathed

"Yeah. How about 'why don't you get your spandex-sized...'' Logan growled before Jean placed duct tape over his mouth

"Perfect timing." Scott commented as Logan spouted incoherently at a particularly amused Jean

"Oh ho, you had no idea how **long** I've wanted to do that" Jean cackled, rolling on the floor hysterically

"MMMRRGH! DAMNBIT NEAN!" Logan grunted trying to rip it off

"Oh, you need me to get that off?" Jean asked jokingly, her hand placed over the end of the tape "Be careful what you ask for: a proverb"

"NO! Bad idea, bad idea, **bad idea**…" Scott babbled, trying to not let Jean incur Logan's notorious wrath. But…

RRRIP!

"YEEOOWWWWCCH!" Logan's roar of pain echoed throughout the mansion

One crazy fight later…

"Damn, that was funny." Jean grunted, entering the lounge, having sustained no injuries.

"Yeah, but was what Logan did to **me** also **FUNNY?**" Tabitha grouched, wearing a neck brace and a cast, apparently having met Logan's bad end

"I did think him making you eat your leather sock was hilarious" Bobby guffawed before Jean thwacked him up the head "OW! Geez! What the hell was THAT for?"

"If I may quote a philosophy from Confucius…" Jean stated again as the X-Gang groaned

"I **told** you letting us watch that stupid Masterpiece Theatre marathon last week was a bad idea" Logan glared at Scott, who was listening to Jean, eyes wide

"A fool and his money are soon parted" Jean stated, as Logan had a huge look of confusion on that face

"What the bloody hell is **THAT** supposed to mean?" Logan snapped before he noticed the large pile of bills in Jean's purse and noticing, "Wait a minute…"

"Oh, look at the time!" Jean yelped, running off, Logan fast on her heels

"A fool and his money are soon parted, eh? I'LL SHOW **YOU** PARTED!" Logan roared, as Jean cackled hysterically before noticing a dangling pot

"Watch your head!" Jean quipped, knocking over the ming vase where it landed on Logan's head with a ceramic-y clunk

"From the words of Socrates: The road may fork, so turn carefully" Jean giggled, before racing back to the living area and pouncing on an unaware Scott

"OOF! Jean, what in God's name are you **doing**?" Scott asked as Jean started licking his head

"Don't stop to smell the roses" Jean quoted before kissing Scott's forehead as the X-Crew watched in amusement

"Well, **this** is certainly a philosophical moment." Sam grunted as Remy watched

"Yep. If Socrates was here, he'd be doin a whole nine degree flip in his grave" Remy joked


End file.
